My wife and I moved to Dufferin County in Southern Ontario a couple of years ago, having escaped the hustle of Toronto. This year, having settled in nicely, we set about to grow some veggies in a suitable area of our 10 acres of countryside.

In February, as we looked over the Stokes seed catalogue and checked off our request for one packet of zucchini seeds for $4.00, little did we realized the lessons about to be learned. Upon opening the packet in early May, some 50 seeds tumbled out. They were planted in fifteen ‘hills’ of three or four seeds each; germination began some two weeks later.

Now we are all familiar with grocery store zucchinis – each an identical six inches in length, with a diameter only slightly greater than a toonie. I have no idea how the professional zucchini growers of the world do it, namely pick the fruit at such a uniform size. If the rate at which the zucchini in our garden grows is at all similar to the type of plants grown by the professionals, they have about a two hour window to pick each zucchini.

In other words, in our garden, a zucchini can grow from the ideal store size on a Monday to become fifteen inches and two pounds by Tuesday. By Wednesday it can be 20 inches and five pounds and by Thursday it is 24 inches and 8-10 pounds.

The shoppers in the grocery store seem blissfully unaware that there are only minor qualitative differences in texture and taste between a 12 ounce zucchini that cost them a dollar and a five pound lunker that the amateur grower cannot give away for free.

Clearly there is a worldwide zucchini conspiracy, designed to keep consumers thinking that zucchinis are a small and precious squash worth a dollar a pound. My wife and I are first hand witnesses of the success of this conspiracy. Overwhelmed by the number of zucchini in the garden, we took about 50 of varying sizes to the farmer next door, who runs an honour system vegetable stand. He agreed to put them on his sale table at $2 apiece and we would split the proceeds. The sizes ranged from 7 or 8 inches to about 24 inches. You guessed it; the small ones sold first and then the larger ones, proof of the power of consumer conditioning. The lesson we learned ?  Size does matter, but not always in the way you might think!

Bob Cooke

Public Sector & NFP Project Management